I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize