What a fucking waste of an outfit
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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