What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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