Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
