Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize