I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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