I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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