normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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