woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is