Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
