wat bout pragnant strippers??
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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