i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
