I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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