i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
