i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We left the knife in your bed.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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