we're chasing vodka with high fives
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
