Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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