Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
