I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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