we're blogging at a bar
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
