My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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