does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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