two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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