I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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