we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
that is very illegal...i love you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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