It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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