we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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