dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize