apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
soo... how was my night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
