i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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