She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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