i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
