I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
