WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
