All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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