i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
