My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
