I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
