On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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