It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
