i jhust puked up my retainher.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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