So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
