So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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