I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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