thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We need to feng shui this bitch.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize