also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
