i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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