And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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