At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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