***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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