it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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