I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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