dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
