I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
