She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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