U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
