Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize